I have a website, which can be found at the following URL. www.ASurvivorsStrength.bravehost.com It is public, because I am working on helping others to overcome their own battles, plus helping me to heal and understand things in the process!... And, the only reason why I don't have this link publicly/directly on my homepage for Rachel's Site, is because of my family! I keep it secret from them, and would totally be devastated if they found out so many things about me, especially this, and what's become of it, etc.!! Plus, ppl currently in my life who were abusers won't admit to one thing that they ever did, things that I KNOW happened!
But, I've g2g4n b/c I have 2 go study 4 a BIG History test, which is next period! (I'm @ school right now, btw.) So, ttyl. God bless you all! I am praying 4 u n ask that u pray 4 me, as well! Thank you!
xx,
♥Rachel~
Hello everyone! Thank you for the prayers n stuff!
I am much better! I really love u! xoxo!
~Ray-Ray <3 
Hey you guys, wow!! I seriously have not been doing good lately!!... I had a nervous breakdown Wednesday night, Thursday morning, left from school on Thursday b/c of it, and then wasn't at school on Friday!!.... Yeah, I have seriously been struggling lately!! PLEASE pray 4 me!!....






I had my 1st consultation w/my new Psychologist/counselor on Friday, which was actually a consultation!.... My first, actual, real appointment is coming up on the 26th!!... And, already, my counselor has definately realized that I am having problems, so she has already scheduled me to see the the psych. dr. (psychiatrst: the main psychiatrist that owns the office, phschiatrist = counselor that can prescribe meds, psychologist = counselor that can't prescribe meds)!!.... I have my appt. w/Dr.Gihwala (the psych. dr.) on 10-25-06, and then my 1st real appointment w/Caren on the 26th!!... But, I honestly don't know if I can handle waiting that long!!....





And, I miss Thursday & Friday @ school, but I seriously don't know whether I can handle going 2 school on Monday!!... And, if I do go on Monday, I will be risking having another nervous breakdown, because I am seriously not having a good time getting through all of this!!... OMG, the pain is so freakin' unbearable!!....





And, fyi, I have been diagnosed with BPD, and PTSD (or, PTTSD, w/e it's abbreviated to be), which are both nerve-wrecking disorders to have, and which make coping with life much harder than the normal struggle!!.....





I am seriously not doing good!!!.... I feel like crying right now, actually!! I can't take anything stressful right now, or I just might fall all to pieces!!!!....





I love & appreciate u!! But, I seriously cant write/say (type) ne more, because I feel like I am about to break down even right now!!.... So, I really had better go!!.... 










Good night & God bless!! xoxo!!
~Love u ALWAYS,
Rachel xoxo!! <3
Definition provided by The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Other important copyright information here.
posttraumatic stress disorder:
Noun
Abbr. PTSD A psychological disorder affecting individuals who have experienced or witnessed profoundly traumatic events, such as torture, murder, rape, or wartime combat, characterized by recurrent flashbacks of the traumatic event, nightmares, irritability, anxiety, fatigue, forgetfulness, and social withdrawal.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is defined within psychiatry and related fields as a disorder characterized primarily by emotional dysregulation, extreme "black and white" thinking (believing that something is one of only two possible things, and ignoring any possible "in-betweens"), and turbulent relationships.
The name originated with the idea that individuals exhibiting this type of behavior were on the "borderline" between neurosis and psychosis. This idea has since fallen out of favor, but the name remains in use, as noted in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders; the ICD-10 has an equivalent called emotionally unstable personality disorder, borderline type. There is currently some discussion by the American Psychiatric Association about changing their name for the disorder to emotional dysregulatory disorder, or emotional dysregulation disorder in the next version of the DSM.
Psychiatrists and some other mental health professionals describe borderline personality disorder as a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in mood, interpersonal relationships, self-image, identity, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self. The majority of those diagnosed with this disorder appear to have been individuals abused or traumatized during childhood
.
Originally thought to be at the "borderline" between psychosis and neurosis, people with BPD are now said to suffer from what has come to be called emotional dysregulation. While less well-known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depression), BPD is more common, affecting two percent of adults, mostly young women.
Studies have also shown a strong correlation between childhood abuse and development of BPD.
There is a high rate of self-injury without suicidal intent, as well as a significant rate of suicide attempts and, in severe cases, successful suicides.
The suicide rate is approximately 8-10%.
Patients often need extensive mental health services, and they account for 20 percent of psychiatric hospitalizations.
It is recognized that they often receive poor service, however, in part due to lack of sympathy with or understanding of self-harm, impulsivity or so-called 'non-compliance'. However, most individuals improve over time and are able to lead more stable and happy lives.
The DSM-IV-TR, a widely-used reference book for diagnosing mental disorders, defines borderline personality disorder as a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
DSM-IV-TR, 301.83.
A commonly used mnemonic to remember the features of the borderline personality disorder is PRAISE:
While a patient with depression or bipolar disorder typically endures the same mood for weeks, a person with BPD may experience intense bouts of depression, anxiety, or anger that may last only minutes, hours, or at most a day.[10] These may be associated with episodes of self-injury (including cutting), impulsive aggression, and drug or alcohol abuse. Difficulties in cognition and sense of self can lead to frequent changes in long-term goals, career plans, jobs, gender identity, sexual orientation, friendships, and values. Sometimes people with BPD view themselves as fundamentally bad or unworthy. They may feel unfairly misunderstood or mistreated, bored, empty, and have little idea who they are. Such symptoms are most acute when people with BPD feel isolated and lacking in social support, and may result in frantic efforts to avoid being alone. Ironically, it is the desperate clinging to other people that often serves as the very catalyst for conflict that drives others away.
People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike). Thus, they may form an immediate attachment and trust for the other person, but when a separation or conflict occurs that others may see as slight, they can lose their sense of attachment and trust and may become withdrawn or angry. Even with family members, individuals with BPD can be highly sensitive to rejection, for example reacting with distress or anger to separations. These fears of abandonment may be related to difficulties feeling emotionally connected to important persons when they are physically absent, leaving the individual with BPD feeling lost and perhaps worthless. Suicide attempts or self-injury may occur along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointments.
People with BPD exhibit other impulsive behaviors, such as excessive spending, binge eating and risky sex. BPD often occurs together with other psychiatric problems, particularly bipolar disorder, depression, attention deficit disorder, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, eating disorders and other personality disorders.
As a consequence of difficulties with emotional regulation and maintaining some social boundaries, people with BPD can sometimes make rapid and seemingly deep connections with others, marked by unrealistically high levels of mutual admiration. When very open and in need of reassurance and love, they can sometimes overwhelm others with praise, attention and intimacy. They can also feel overwhelmed by others or be taken advantage of. Due to the inherent instability of such relationships, and unresolved issues for the person with BPD, particularly in matters of trust and self-worth, they are prone to react strongly to apparent slights and reverse their over-positive view. This can be experienced by others as unexpected hostility or betrayal, and can also be confusing and painful for the person with BPD.
Patients with borderline personality disorder are at very high risk of suicide, about 5-10% or about 500 to 1000 times more than the general population. This risk greatly escalates when other co-morbid factors are present. The disorder is often poorly understood by psychiatrists and some psychiatrists simply refuse to accept BPD patients due to their instability (missed appointments, difficulty dealing with them). If a patient with BPD has co-morbid factors of substance abuse (alcohol or other drugs), the risk factor reaches an astounding 58% dying from suicide within five years.
Treatments for BPD have improved in recent years. [11] People with BPD, who are often distressed by at least some of their symptoms, typically undertake a series of empirical trials of drugs to see whether anything helps them, and may end up taking no drugs at all.
Cognitive and behaviorally oriented group and individual psychotherapy are effective for many patients. Traditional psychoanalysis is usually avoided, because it has been known to exacerbate BPD symptoms.[12] There is a tendency for a person with borderline personality to fear abandonment and then act out their fear, often by attempting to reject a therapist before the therapist rejects them. This is a risk in all therapies and being mindful of it may be helpful when it occurs; those who exhibit turbulence in their relationships may also replicate them with their therapist too.
In 1991, a new psychosocial treatment termed dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) was developed specifically to treat BPD, and this technique was the first to show any efficacy compared to a control group. Marsha Linehan, the developer of DBT, said in the early days that it took about a year to see substantial enduring improvement. Combining SSRIs and DBT (probably the standard treatment now) seems to give satisfying synergy and faster results.
Linehan's dialectical behavior therapy is based on negotiation between therapist and patient. The dialectic described in the treatment's name is of the therapists' acceptance and validation of patients as they are, combined with the insistence on the need for change. The idea is to give patients tools that they never acquired as children, typically to control and handle their emotions. Some patients, when asked after several years of treatment, why they have stopped inflicting self-injury, give answers to the effect of "I picture myself sitting with my psychotherapist, and we talk about why I want to injure myself."
Since about 1989, Prozac and other selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) antidepressants have repeatedly been shown to improve the symptoms of BPD in some patients, which seems to be a separate effect to antidepressant as such, focussing more on affect regulation. This, however, is questioned by some psychiatrists who caution against use of SSRI and SNRI drugs due to risk and side-effects. Medication must be carefully monitored with BPD patients as the ultimate risk is suicide, and this can potentially be the direct result of prescription drug mismanagement.
The book Listening to Prozac describes some of these remarkable changes. In general, it takes a higher dose of an SSRI to treat BPD than depression. It also takes about three months for benefit to appear, compared to two weeks for depression. The previous antidepressants, the tricyclics, were often unhelpful; side-effects are generally difficult to tolerate and the drugs are often lethal in overdose. Increasing evidence implicates inadequate serotonergic neurotransmission as strongly related to impaired modulation of emotional and behavioral responses to everyday life, manifesting as "overreacting to everything". Even thinking is recruited by the intense (or underregulated) emotionality so that the world is perceived primitively in intense black-and-white terms.
Often, an SSRI or a SNRI drug is prescribed to a patient with BPD without proper supervision and involvement of family caregivers, or explanation or warning of side effects. The drugs often cause agitation and insomnia initially and for some people these problems may persist, which can pose problems in someone who may be suicidal when they begin therapy. Many people can experience withdrawal symptoms when stopping which can leadto the impression they are 'addicted ' to the medication.
The impulsivity, suicidality and possible lack of supports in borderline patients may render them much more vulnerable to self-harm than those without these vulnerablilies should these problems arise. It may be difficult for the treating physician to make the distinction between side effects that are worsened by increase of dose and the symptoms that a patient is experiencing from the disorder. Increasing the dose to address the worsening symptoms can be dangerous if the symptoms are in fact a side effect of the drug.
Other pharmacological treatments are often prescribed for certain other specific target symptoms shown by the individual patient, especially for people with more than one psychiatric diagnosis. Mood stabilizers (lithium or certain antiepileptic drugs) may be helpful for explosive anger, impulsivity, or if there is an admixture of bipolar disorder.[13]
Neuroleptics or antipsychotic drugs may also be used when there are distortions in thinking (e.g., paranoia).[14] Overall, medication has not been as effective for people who have only BPD (without any other mental illnesses) as it has been in many other psychiatric disorders, leading many researchers to focus on non-chemical treatments, such as dialectical behavior therapy, for "pure" BPD patients.
There is limited information as to the usefulness of benzodiazepines in the treatment of borderline personality disorder. There is anecdotal evidence as to their effectiveness, especially with comorbidity of anxiety - they can be very effective in reducing hyperarousal, anxiety and dissociative states. However, they should be used with caution, as physiological and psychological addiction can occur from long term use and this is a population vulnerable to substance misuse and dependence.
Although the causes of BPD are uncertain, both environmental and genetic factors are thought to play a role in predisposing patients to BPD symptoms and traits, possibly through the final common pathway of reduced central serotonergic neurotransmission. Studies show that many (but not all) individuals with BPD report a history of abuse, neglect, or separation as young children.[15] Between 40% and 71% of BPD patients report having been sexually abused, usually by a non-caregiver.[16] Many others have an apparently hereditary form of the disease.
Researchers believe that BPD results from a combination of individual genetic vulnerability and environmental stress, neglect or abuse as young children, and maturational events that trigger the onset of the disorder during adolescence or adulthood.
Adults with BPD are also considerably more likely to be the victim of violence, including rape and other crimes. This may be the result of vulnerabilities resulting from BPD (e.g., willingness to tolerate unsafe environments to avoid abandonment, tendency to form intense relationships) as well as impulsivity and poor judgment in choosing partners and lifestyles. Anger, impulsivity, and poor judgment may also explain why people with BPD are more likely than average to be arrested for and convicted of crimes ranging from petty theft to murder.
Neuroscience research examines brain mechanisms possibly underlying the impulsivity, mood instability, aggression, anger, and negative emotion seen in BPD. Studies suggest that people predisposed to impulsive aggression have impaired regulation of the neural circuits that modulate emotion.[17] The amygdala, a small almond-shaped structure deep inside the brain, is an important component of the circuit that regulates negative emotion. In response to signals from other brain centers indicating a perceived threat, it marshals fear and arousal. This might be more pronounced under the influence of stress and/or drugs like alcohol. Areas in the front of the brain (pre-frontal area) act to damp the activity of this circuit. Recent brain imaging studies show that individual differences in the ability to activate regions of the prefrontal cerebral cortex thought to be involved in inhibitory activity predict the ability to suppress negative emotion.[18]
Serotonin, norepinephrine and acetylcholine are among the chemical messengers in these circuits that play a role in the regulation of emotions, including sadness, anger, anxiety and irritability. Drugs that enhance brain serotonin function sometimes improve emotional symptoms in BPD. Likewise, mood-stabilizing drugs that are known to enhance the activity of GABA, the brain's major inhibitory neurotransmitter, may help people who experience BPD-like mood swings.
Studies that translate basic findings about the neural basis of temperament, mood regulation and cognition into clinically relevant insights which bear on BPD represent a growing area of research. Research is also underway to test the efficacy of combining medications with behavioral treatments like DBT, and gauging the effect of childhood abuse and other stress. Data from the first prospective, longitudinal study of BPD, which began in the early 1990s, is expected to reveal how treatment affects the course of the illness. It will also hopefully pinpoint specific environmental factors and personality traits that predict a more favorable outcome.
NonBP is a non-clinical term originally coined by Kreger & Mason in the book Stop Walking on Eggshells (ISBN 1-57224-108-X) in the mid-1990's. It has since come into widespread and popular usage. The term describes individuals who are in a consistent, and sometimes significant, relationship with a person exhibiting a Borderline character, aspects of complex post traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), or a formally diagnosed borderline personality disorder. These people can be friends, spouses, lovers, offspring, co-workers, and extended family members, among others.
While "NonBP" is a colloquial expression, and not a clinically defined condition or syndrome, the idea parallels that of the "roles" that people often take on in alcoholic families, or abusive relationships. It is also consistent with the idea of "roles" described in co-dependent relationships, such as "enabler", "counter-dependent", and/or "agent". Part of the value of this type of informal terminology is that it helps describe the manner in which others potentially behave when in relationship to a person whose social skills are inadequate, in what ever way that presents itself.
When talking about the Borderline relationship, the "Non-reactive NonBP" is considered to be a person who interacts with the Borderline character, while not being drawn into, or engaging, the chaos of the disorder. The "Reactive NonBP", however, both interacts with the Borderline character, and engages the Borderline behavior. This often throws the person off-center, and promotes a kind of parallel emotional dysregulation within them. The "Reactive" relationship style breaks down into two distinct sub-styles; transpersonal, or the "trans-Borderline", and counterpersonal, or the "counter-Borderline".
The "trans-Borderline" is an individual who engages the Borderline character, and is drawn only to the chaos of the disorder itself. Rather than being directly affected, s/he is more apt to stay focused on "cleaning up" after the Borderline personality. This is something akin to the "caretaker/enabler" role found in alcoholic relationships. In both cases, this person is characteristically co-dependent, or set up to be co-dependent in that relationship. S/he acts as enabler, or agent, or both.
The "counter-Borderline", on the other hand, not only reacts to and integrates the Borderline style, but reflects it, as well. This individual is the most negatively affected by his/her relationship to the Borderline personality. Very often, this person will begin to behave in a manner very similar to a person with a Borderline personality. This type of relationship is very treacherous and, when talking about chaotic relationships with Borderline personalities, this is the sort of situation to which most people are referring. This type of relationship often leaves the NonBP questioning his/her own sanity, and the "emotional hangover" of such a relationship can take a considerable amount of time from which to recover.
ISBN 88-7078-796-6
, "Trauma and Recovery: the aftermath of violence-- from domestic abuse to political terror", 1991.
“...Many outstanding Americans have influenced the past, and many more will impact the future. Choosing the “Four Greatest Americans” does mean injustice to the hundreds of others who left their mark on our country and diminishes their contributions. This report simply recognizes four great Americans who helped make 
-*(C) HOGGATT, SHANK, ROBINSON*-
(I agree with this statement. However, I would like to make note on it.
)
Without are Susan B. Anthony, Thomas A. Edison, Benjamin Franklin, and Abraham Lincoln, America perhaps would be quite different from the country we currently know it to be.

Ah man!... I cannot get onto the internet anymore at school (well, in digital communications)!!... My application launcher won't work, and b/c of the way the networking is set up at my school, I am not able to get online anymore! I mean, I have permission to my school to get online and everything!!.... But, with my application launcher "broken," I can't get online!!... And, that sucks, though, because I am one of the fastest typists in my class (not sure: either the fast, 2nd fatest, or tied with this other girl)!!... So, I get done my work a lot quicker than the other ppl in my class do!!... And, if I get behind because I am not there, then it takes me like no time to get done!! LoL, whenever that happens, I STILL catch up so quickly that I STILL get done faster than the most of the rest of the class!...


Hey you guys!
What's up babaaaaaaaaaaaaaays, lol!??? I have a headache, from stress and sinus probs! I think that I have farengitis (annoying sinus thing)!... I am really tired, too!!... Oh well. Um, CSI is coming on soon! And, I told my friend Ashley that I would try to call her in a few! So, I will be doing both, I guess, unless I need to talk to just her!
'Cause, I can make sacrifices 4 my friends! :-P lol! Yep, I love them!
lol. Yes, I really do, though!
Well, I'd better go. I've gotta' get offline now n do that stuff! So, ttyl! PLEASE PRAY FOR ME AND MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS!! THANK YOU!! GOD BLESS U!!! <3 XOXO!!
~Rachel
Developing a web presence is a time consuming and expensive task that involves months of planning and development. Many times, as the project progresses and milestones are achieved, the end result is not necessarily what was originally planned. People involved in the planning phases of the project may leave, resources may be shifted, the competitive environment may change or newer technologies may be discovered along the way - all of which can significantly affect the final product. As a result, it is important to ensure the final site is designed to meet your objectives and is effective at attracting and maintaining visitors.
The following sections provide a checklist of important components of your site that you should evaluate before you conduct a final launch.
The strategy development process involved determining the purpose of your site, defining your target audience and developing measurable objectives. It is this process that gave you direction on your site design including the technologies and tools you used.
There are many purposes to a web site. It could be to entice a visitor to engage in a particular ‘action’ – perhaps make a purchase or fill out a member form. It could be to share information or an opinion, or provide entertainment. Whether you want to sell, persuade or entertain, every section of your site should reflect and support your site’s purpose and strategy. For instance, if you want to encourage purchase of your product, your site will probably have e-commerce functionality that will enable customers to make online payments. If you have a persuasive site, you may include a feedback form to gather public opinion and a newsletter that provides updates. A games site may include a ‘top performers’ section to encourage competitiveness between visitors so they will go to your site again.
A site’s success is very dependent on its ability to meet the needs and expectations of your target audience. For instance, the computer ‘literacy’ of your potential customers can determine how long they will stay on your site. As an example, if your visitors are not technically oriented they may require very easy navigation throughout your site or clear directions on how to conduct a particular action. If your visitors have a technology background, they will be able to understand more complex functions and content. The region in which your target audience is located can also affect the tools and design of your site. Some regions cannot support high bandwidth and therefore have slower connection speeds. As a result, you will have to pay particular attention to your use of graphics and multimedia.
Your site features will help you to meet your goals as well. If you have a site that makes money through advertising, a goal will be to drive site traffic. Consequently, you may focus on providing regular and up-to-date content. Your site may also include back-end software that provides advertisers with statistics and data on their advertising popularity.
Before you launch your web site it is important to evaluate whether the final product reflects your purpose, audience requirements and goals. It will be much easier to make the necessary changes before your site becomes public, otherwise you may risk turning away visitors and sacrificing initial opportunities.
Hey you guys!!
What's up? I am currently at school. It is 12:57 pm. I am in my Digi. Comm. class. I have completed my work long ago!! Wow, the ppl in here type soooooooooo slow!! LoL, it's almost amazing 2 me that I type so much faster than they do (almost my WHOLE class)!!.... Wow... yeah, lol!!....
Um, I am bored!.... And, I was trying to log ont2 my MySpace journal and/or my livejournal!!.... But, this pc wouldn't let me, b/c my school's nextwork restricts certain websites!!... But, HA, they allowed me to come onto here!!!
YAAAY!!!
So, now, I get to post an entry!! And, I got to change the layout and theme of my site a bit!!
YAAAY!! Yeah, my site SERIOUSLY needed an update (badly)!!! lol! But, oh yeah, I gave it an UPLIFT!!!!!!!!! YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH BAAAAAAAAAAABY, haha!!!
Yeah, lol, I'm not sure so why I am quite so excited about that, but I am!! I mean, gosh, it sooooooooooo long needed a boost!!! But, there is SOOOO much work left to be done!! But then again, I suppose there always is when you host a website, or do really much of anything online like that!!.... And, boy can it be time-consuming, wow!!... I still need to sit down and do some more: add some recent pictures, keep you guys updated on the latest stuff, rearrange certain aspects of each page, especially my main page, and just give it all a bit of a boost, really!!...
Well, I will probably go ahead and try to update this site a lil' more b4 every1 else is done typing and everything!!.... I think that everybody's just about done by now!
But, many ppl r online at the moment, so he obviously doesn't have anything the he wants us to be working on at the moment (once we're finished typing up our business letters, which I have completed a while ago
)!!... So, I am gonna' go now n do that site cleanin' I told u about! Over & out! Caio, ya'll!! (lol!!
) ttyl!!
Oh, btw, please keep looking on my site for new updates!! I update my site as often as I can, and plan to put some more really awesome stuff on it, and make it even BETTER!! YAY!!
I love u guys!! Gos bless u!! <3 xoxo!
~Rachel
*P.S.* -Here's a cool site (well, if you're affiliated with Bravenet, that is
:-P
)!! You should check it out!!
:-P
http://www.marketingfind.com/?utm_source=bravenet&utm_medium=Text&utm_term=InternetMarketing